I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This baby is an asshole
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
