I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
