Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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