i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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