one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
