Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
