theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
