we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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