Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
