i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize