Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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