im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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