thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
how drunk are you?
Several
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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