you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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