I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
