marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
