there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
