Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I smell stomach acid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
