Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
