I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
