32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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