if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
