we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
