I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
