He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
