Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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