Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
