Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
