so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize