the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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