I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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