Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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