i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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