didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
