my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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