This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
