it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
