a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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