is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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