Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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