ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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