He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
