I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
