I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
