I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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