i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
