I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
