Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
