Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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