shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
