her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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